Funny Gym Quotes???
We realize you pay attention to turning out to be, however, exercise can be genuinely amusing!
You will definitely like these inspirational and well-significantly progressively funny quotes.
Don’t hesitate to share these funny gym quotes with your exercise peers. You can also circulate this post to your social media platforms. In this tough pandemic, you really need a moment of a laugh.
Recommendations:
- http://hitfitpakistan.com/2020/06/12/best-exercises-for-weight-loss/
- http://hitfitpakistan.com/2020/06/05/chubby-girl-quotes/
- http://hitfitpakistan.com/2020/06/08/skinny-motivation-quotes/
Epic Quotes – Funny Gym Quotes
1. “I only work out because i really, really like donuts.”—unknown
2. “I got 99 problems, but i’m going to the gym to ignore all of them.”—unknown
3. “I’m sorry for what i said during burpees.”—unknown
4. “Life has its ups and downs. we call them squats.”—unknown
5. “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!”—jillian michaels
6. “You make my knees weak. just kidding. yesterday was leg day.”—unknown
7. “My favorite machine at the gym is the television.”—unknown
8. “It’s my workout. i can cry if i want to.”—unknown
9. “Hustle for that muscle.”—unknown
10. “Eat clean, stay fit, and have a burger to stay sane.”—gigi hadid
11. “Weights before dates.”—unknown
12. ” Like big weights and i cannot lie.”—unknown
13. “I don’t sweat, i sparkle.”—unknown
14. “Sweat is your fat crying.”—unknown
15. “Fitness: if it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body.”—cher
16. “I don’t want to look skinny. i want to look like i could kick your butt.”—unknown
17. “Friday night. Party at the gym with my friends dumbbell and barbell.”—unknown
18. “Life is short. Lift heavy things.”—unknown
19. “If you still look cute after working out, you didn’t go hard enough.”—unknown
20. “The only I need in my life is breakfast and squats.”—unknown
Amusing – Funny Gym Quotes
21. “Hi baby abs!! i see you!!! i hope to meet your other ab friends soon (yes, I’m talking to my muscles. i’ve never met most of them before).”—khloe kardashian
22. I’m always weirdly proud when my pee is clear…
23. Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going! – Jillian Michaels
24. I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.
25. Cut Carbs? Sure, I can do that… *slices bread.
26. Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
27. Eat clean, stay fit, and have a burger to stay sane. – Gigi Hadid
Sore? Tired? Out of breath? Good… it’s working.
28. “The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.’” – Jim Gaffigan
29. “When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.” – Robert M. Hutchins
30. “If you want to get in shape, don’t sign up for fancy diet this or Cross that the other thing. No, the way to get in shape is to go to the gym every single day, change your clothes and take a shower. If you can do that every single day for a month, pretty soon you’ll start doing something while you’re there.” – Seth Godin
31. “Gym Rule #1: If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most.” – Jason Love
32. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happier with buns of cinnamon.” – Ellen DeGeneres
33. “My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.” – Milton Berle
34. “Albert Einstein discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, ‘You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.’” – Dave Barry
35. “If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” – Joey Adams
36. “The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it ‘jumping up and down.’” – Rita Rudner
37. “America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer.” – Mike Vanatta
38. “My favourite exercise at the gym would probably be judging.” – Anonymous
39. “I’m afraid the handle on your recliner chair does not count as an exercise machine” – Doctor (to the patient)
40. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” – David Lee Roth
Witty Quotes – Funny Gym Quotes
41. “Are you fat and ugly? Join our gym and just be ugly!” – Local gym sign
42. “Every time I hear the dirty word ‘Exercise’ I wash my mouth out with chocolate!” – Unknown
43. “Instead of calling my bathroom the ‘John’ I call it the ‘Jim’. That way it sounds better when I say, ‘I go to the Jim first thing every morning.’” – Unknown
44. “I really think that tossing and turning at night should be considered exercise!” – Unknown
45. “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Marsha Doble
46. “I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” – Neil Armstrong
47. “I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh… try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” – Ellen DeGeneres
48. “I can’t die, it would ruin my image.” – Jack LaLanne
49. “My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.” – Phyllis Diller
50. “When you’re old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.” – Garrison Keillor
51. “A reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class somewhere pulls a hamstring.” – Allan Roth
52. “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing” – Unknown
53. “I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen
54. “If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out.” – Jim Gaffigan
55. “If these bicep peaks were any bigger I’d have snow on them.” – Anonymous
56. “If these bicep peaks were any bigger I’d have snow on them.” – Anonymous
57. “I spend my time at the gym doing idly squats” – Unknown
58. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” – Joan Rivers
59. “When people ask me if I exercise I tell them I do crunches every day – especially Captain Crunch and Nestle Crunch” – Unknown
60. “I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.” – Anonymous
61. “You ever look for the remote control, but you can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, guess I’m not watching TV. I’m not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I’ll go to the gym if I’m going to work out.’” – Jim Gaffigan
Awesomely Funny Gym Quotes
62. “I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training.” – Author Unknown
63. “I’m 99% sure no one would run marathons if they weren’t allowed to talk about running marathons.” – Mike Vanatta
64. “Doctor to patient: What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?” – Randy Glasbergen
65. “I don’t jog. If I die I want to be sick.” – Abe Lemons
66. “Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital.” —Amit Kalantri
67. “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” —Unknown
68. “When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.” —Robert M. Hutchins
69. “Some men’s chests are more butt like than some women’s butts.” —Mokokoma Mokhonoana
70. “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” —Unknown
71. “Stay healthy so that you can use your wealth to buy pleasures and not painkillers.” —Amit Kalantri
72. “Be the girl at the gym that motivates everyone else to push a little harder.” —Unknown
73. “If you still look cute after the gym, you didn’t workout hard enough.” —Unknown
“Are you fat and ugly? Join our gym and just be ugly!” —Unknown
74. “I don’t get why gyms have mirrors…I know what I look like – that’s why I’m there!” —Unknown
Short Comical – Funny Gym Quotes
75. “Run like you stole something.” —Unknown
76. “Lifting and eating my two favourite things in life.” —Unknown
77. “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” —Unknown
78. “Excuses don’t kill the fat, exercises do.” —Amit Kalantri
79. “I spend my time at the gym doing diddly squats.” —Unknown
80. “Relationship are like fat people most of them don’t workout.” —Unknown
81. “I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training.” —Unknown
82. “Life is short. Lift heavy things.” —Unknown
83. “I must go. My gym needs me.” —Unknown
84. “If you still look cute after the gym, you didn’t workout hard enough.” —Unknown
85. “Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital.” —Amit Kalantri
86. “At the gym I’m like a ninja. You’ll never see me there.” —Unknown
87. “I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell.” —Alec Yuill Thornton
88. “My favorite exercise at the gym would probably be judging.” —Unknown
89. “I will never breakup with my gym. We just seem to workout.” —Unknown
90. “Bad day can be made better, by going to the gym.” —Unknown
91. “My best exercise is something between a lunge and a crunch.” —Unknown
92. “That’s not sweat on your face it’s fat crying.” —Unknown
93. “Education is important, but big biceps is importanter.” —Unknown
94. “The easiest way to get a healthy body is marry one.” —Unknown
95. “Not only a man without hand is handicapped but also a man without health.” —Amit Kalantri
96. “Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia.” —Barbara Ehrenreich
97. “Are you fat and ugly? Join our gym and just be ugly!” —Unknown
98. “Fitness-If it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.” —Cher
Entertaining – Funny Gym Quotes
99. “Sore today and probably sore tomorrow.” —Unknown
100. “Before you worry about the beauty of your body, worry about the health of your body.” —Amit Kalantri
101. “When your workout was too intense, The only thing you can do the next day is just staring at the ceiling.” —Unknown
102. “If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlour.” —Christiaan Barnard
103. “When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.” —Robert M. Hutchins
104. “I don’t get why gyms have mirrors…I know what I look like – that’s why I’m there!” —Unknown
105. “Some men’s chests are more butt like than some women’s butts.” —Mokokoma Mokhonoana
106. “I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” —Neil Armstrong
107. “My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.” —Milton Berle
108. “Stay healthy so that you can use your wealth to buy pleasures and not painkillers.” —Amit Kalantri
109. “In training, you listen to your body. In competition, you tell your body to shut up.” —Rich Froning Jr.
110. “I don’t get why people pay to exercise in a GYM when it’s FREE to not exercise.” —Bridger Winegar
111. “Huge biceps are an unattractive-uneducated-underpaid man’s last attempt to be seen as worthy of dating, or, sleeping with.” —Mokokoma Mokhonoana
112. “The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.” —JimGaffigan
113. “I don’t always go to the gym. But when I do, I make sure everyone on Facebook knows about it.” —Unknown
Playful – Funny Gym Quotes
114. “To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you’ve lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you.” —Mokokoma
115. “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” —Unknown
116. “Be the girl at the gym that motivates everyone else to push a little harder.” —Unknown
117. “At the Gym I’m like a Ninga, you will never see me there.”
118. “I think I’m not the only one, who after completing a workout, runs immediately to the mirror to see the INSTANT results.” __ Tooba Liaqat
119. I just take a quick nap, when my trainer said “Lie down and Inhale Exhale” Oops! It’s a SECRET__ Tooba Liaqat
Did you like this huge amount of laughter(Funny Gym Quotes)??
So, which funny gym quotes are your favourite?
Share with us in comment section.
Hahah. Loved these! I’ll definitely be using some of these once the gyms reopen again.
Superrr ….!
Your blog is very nice ??
haha these are great! Thanks for making me laugh this morning 🙂
Interesting to know new quotes about Gym ??
Very funny, nice job